Comstock on the Run

Hypothetical: Let’s pretend you’re a second-term, rank-and-file Member of a Congress ruled by your party. Better yet, say that all three branches of government are now in your party’s control. Awesome. What do you do? Maybe you celebrate and go all in on the legislative session’s agenda! You will toe the Party line, work your way up the ranks, and one day you’ll have a leadership position!

Let’s say your party’s agenda is now threatening to run the country off the rails of decency, trample basic human rights and actually speed up our planetary demise, and you only won your district by a slim 6-point majority. Worse, your constituents are diverse, articulate and outspoken. And, horror of horrors, they’re organized!

Here is what you do. You keep your head down. Way, way down, and thank your lucky stars that you’re on the Research and Technology Subcommittee, rather than, say, the Judiciary Committee. Whew! This could work! Just keep tweeting about diabetes, and strokes, and women pilots. Throw in a good photo of you speaking at a small officer installation ceremony. You want to be seen and heard, after all. You just don’t want to be questioned.

Is the distraction working? Let’s check the comments:

Aw, shucks. Well, maybe that was a one-off. Pull your hair back, roll up your sleeves and try again:

Women’s heart disease! It is bad! Change your outfit, snap a pic and tweet it out there! Surely that will mollify some of those irate constituents. …Right? Hmmm:

Oh, snap! See what I mean? These constituents are indignant, and they’re clever, too!

So, what’s a poor Congresswoman to do? Oh, Barbara, you know what you have to do. Slam back a glass of Laphroaig if you need to, fluff up your hair, and attend your damn Town Halls. Schedule one, invite people, and then ATTEND. Just get it over with.

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